Monday, July 6, 2009

The Tampon Saga!

Ok, so here it is I need help on this one. How do you help your child use a (I'm whispering here) tampon? Not Sydney in case many of you are gasping right now, it's my step daughter Alyssa who is staying with us this summer! Alyssa is 12 and she started her cycle (trying not to say the P word for all you Dads) about 4 months ago. Now we all no this is a monumental event in itself but, having to explain tampon insertion without any research for me was a living H_ _ _ !!!
The other day I blurted out happily to the kids who were lethargically sitting around the house with the summer blues, "Yay, guess what we've been invited to the pool at Askwifey's!!!! They leaped and screamed with joy, except Alyssa who's face and spirit dropped so low, she looked at me tears filling up in her eyes and said, "I can't go." Suddenly I remembered at that moment that she was on her cycle, ugh! I also horrifyingly realized at that moment that you can't even were a pad in the pool! OMG what to do? Me, trying to save the day asked her "Has um, mom taught you how to use a tampon?" Light seem to shine in her eyes, she tells me no not yet but, they've talked about it and she read a book at Girl Scouts. Wanting so much to make her happy, I called her mom just to make sure she could use one and she says sure! I rushed to the store spent a long time staring at Tampax Tampons, I even compromised and got the un-biodegradable plastic ones, ugh, I thought it would hurt less (I don't no). I Ran back home bought her into the bedroom and pulled the box out and had a sudden gasping heart attack because I realized at that moment I had no idea how to teach her how to use the friggin' things, yikes!

I go into a long diatribe of explanations, I found myself make a hole with my fingers and demonstrating how the tampon goes into the hole. Than I realized that this little girl, this child has no idea that there is even a hole there, she's just looking at me trying hard to be comfortable with this subject and clearly she wasn't, I kept trying to be cool and beatnickish about it but, I felt like an absolute idiot. After I finished my long dissertation on how to insert the tampon. I told her it would be easy if she laid back on the bed. I left the room and 3min's later she comes out with tears in her eyes and says she can't do it. I felt like I failed her. I called her mom for help and she's like put Vaseline on it and make her put one leg up on the tub. Because she really wanted to go swimming she was willing to try it, however again it didn't work. She burst into tears and said she wanted to go home!!! CRAP! How can I suck at this, I mean I survived the cow like feeling of breastfeeding twins at the same time, potty training toddlers, running a business, and changing my ailing parents depends!!! Why can't I do this???
I felt like a crappy, evil Step Mom, (here take a tampon!)

I tried to make her feel better, I hugged and kissed her and told her everything will be alright. I love her and I didn't want her to want to leave. I was so mad because I couldn't help her. We did go to the pool that day and I sat with her in solidarity! I told her don't worry about it baby we'll figure it out over time:)
Of course I had an opportunity to go online and look up sites on the subject, but finding the right way to explain it's application to your daughter is a task I really need to figure out.
Little girls do not exactly no where there Va jay jay's are so to tell them to put a leg up and insert this object into a place they have never been is scary as all
H_ _ _!!!
God there has got to be a better way!

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to explain this process that's better than the cold and lifeless Internet explanations?


Jennifer said...

Oh man, I'll pray for you. Who the heck knows how to explain the tampon situation to youngsters like that!?

Unknown Mami said...

I'm just proud of you for trying. Wow! I have no idea how to explain it without some sort of visual aid.

KC Mom said...

Uugg...that first time of teaching the tampon thing is so hard. Lucky for me my kids used the pads for a couple of months. That gave them plenty of time to figure out where the "hole" is and where the tampon would go.

KC Mom said...

BTW...thanks for stopping by my blog. The beak on the eagle is a cashew...go figure!
I came by to visit and read your bio. I can't believe what a fab life you've lived! My life is so hum drum compared to the experiences you've had. It was fun to stop by.

QueenBee said...

It's ok to say the P word around the dads, they know what's going on, I think. (smile) It's a difficult thing trying to teach them how to use the tampon, but go to and see if there is a better explanation of what you are trying to say. I think they have free samples for teenagers also, but I'm just guessing.

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

Oh how I remember those days too...where you are just MORTIFIED to be on your P...;)

Good Job solving the problem...YIKES, I have boys so that is NOT on my radar...;)

PS, I am following too!

Ms. Wanda said...

Thank you so much ladies for all of your comments. Queenbee I'm going to check out right now:)

Kristin said...

Ohhhhhhhhh, poor little lady. I don't even remember how I learned.

A. Spence said... daughters 11 and I don't want to think about this.

*runs away screaming*

MOMSWEB said...

Where the heck is Wifey with all her answers? LOLOLOL

Wanda, when you figure it out tell me because I'm 46 with two sons and I STILL don't know! I tried them for a while and uh...just didn't work. I'm a Proud Pad Princess. I know...TMI

JackiesMagic said...

My 15 yr old started using them when she was 13. A year after she started. She was confident and .. besides that, a few of her BFFs with older sibling sisters were already using them and had shared ideas with her on how to. I was scared for no reason. Also.. my daughter subscribed to a couple of teen girl magazines.. with lots of tips and such on such things. Don't worry MSWANDA, Sistah Friend! Your baby girl will surprise you! Especially if she really does want to use them!

Sherry said...

When I was a kid I was so looking forward to my period; it seemed like all my friends started before me. I was almost 13 when I started. My mother gave me a pad and took me to the store, I assumed to buy tampons. After all, that's what all my friends carried around in their purses. When we got there she started picking up boxes of pads. I told her I didn't want those, I wanted tampons. She flipped out and told me I could not have them! WHAT?! I stood my ground and we had a LOUD argument in the store, til finally she was so embarrassed that she caved. But she said, "Fine, but I'm not telling you how to use them!" Great, what a loving, supportive mother I have, eh? lol So I studied the instruction pamphlet as closely as possible. I think I've got it right and head off to school. By mid-morning I know something is not right; it won't stay in! Finally, a friend somehow figures out whats going on and tells me you have to remove the applicator.

I think if my mother had just looked over the included diagrams in the pamphlet with me and actually demonstrated how the tampon comes out of the applicator in the air, I would have understood.

I think you did an awesome job in being supportive of your step-daughter! :D

Janelle said...

Oh goodness!! You did a great job, I know how heartbreaking it feels. I think it's alot of trial an error before they're comfortable enough to actually wear the thing for a while!
It's a lot of visual training- 1 foot on the tub, insert like this, push the applicator like this!! I think it took my daughter about a year before she actually became comfortable time.

Kimberly said...

Wow, that's tough, I was so much older and somehow just did it! Surely there are some how-to videos online??

Moms Fighting Fat said...

Ms Wanda, you are the complete opposite of an "Evil Stepmother", I think what you did was very loving!

I started my period when I was 12. My mother bought me pads and tampons and went over the tampon pamphlet with me. Next, with her clothes on, she gave me non-graphic demonstrations of where and how to put them in on the toilet and how to put one leg up on the bathtub.

It took me a couple of days to get it right but I finally conquered the feat.

You're doing the right thing by supporting her, she'll get it--eventually. :-)

BTW, I loved this post! You had me laughing and wanting to give you and your step-daughter a hug!

Take Care ~ Sandy

Christy said...

Thanks for coming by and visiting me! I am so glad to meet you. Now I have a new blog to follow, because I needed a new one. :) I hope the tampon saga went well. My mother wouldn't let me use those. A friend showed me, literally, how. I will forever be grateful to her for that. Noone likes wearing diapers...I look forward to your future posts.

Karen said...

Dropping by from SITS.

Wish I had some brilliant advice for you. My mom didn't teach me how to use tampons and I'm thinking it's probably because she just didn't want to "go there" with me. A friend explained the process when I was, um, no longer a teenager.

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

I feel for ya. When my mom told me she never used them I knew I'd have to handle it on my own.

It'll work out fine :-).

Janet said...

Oh my goodness, I never even thought of how one would teach someone this! Ugh. I don't remember exactly how I learned either, but it took YEARS before I really got it right and was comfortable.

It sounds to me like you did an awesome job of supporting her at the pool anyway!

Wifey said...

OK, so I'm late on the commenting but was there when it happened - LOL! You did fabulous, Wanda. I remember trying to learn myself and it was definitely more than a one time event.

Winks & Smiles,


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