Ok, so here it is I need help on this one. How do you help your child use a (I'm whispering here) tampon? Not Sydney in case many of you are gasping right now, it's my step daughter Alyssa who is staying with us this summer! Alyssa is 12 and she started her cycle (trying not to say the P word for all you Dads) about 4 months ago. Now we all no this is a monumental event in itself but, having to explain tampon insertion without any research for me was a living H_ _ _ !!!
The other day I blurted out happily to the kids who were lethargically sitting around the house with the summer blues, "Yay, guess what we've been invited to the pool at Askwifey's!!!! They leaped and screamed with joy, except Alyssa who's face and spirit dropped so low, she looked at me tears filling up in her eyes and said, "I can't go." Suddenly I remembered at that moment that she was on her cycle, ugh! I also horrifyingly realized at that moment that you can't even were a pad in the pool! OMG what to do? Me, trying to save the day asked her "Has um, mom taught you how to use a tampon?" Light seem to shine in her eyes, she tells me no not yet but, they've talked about it and she read a book at Girl Scouts. Wanting so much to make her happy, I called her mom just to make sure she could use one and she says sure! I rushed to the store spent a long time staring at Tampax Tampons, I even compromised and got the un-biodegradable plastic ones, ugh, I thought it would hurt less (I don't no). I Ran back home bought her into the bedroom and pulled the box out and had a sudden gasping heart attack because I realized at that moment I had no idea how to teach her how to use the friggin' things, yikes!
I go into a long diatribe of explanations, I found myself make a hole with my fingers and demonstrating how the tampon goes into the hole. Than I realized that this little girl, this child has no idea that there is even a hole there, she's just looking at me trying hard to be comfortable with this subject and clearly she wasn't, I kept trying to be cool and beatnickish about it but, I felt like an absolute idiot. After I finished my long dissertation on how to insert the tampon. I told her it would be easy if she laid back on the bed. I left the room and 3min's later she comes out with tears in her eyes and says she can't do it. I felt like I failed her. I called her mom for help and she's like put Vaseline on it and make her put one leg up on the tub. Because she really wanted to go swimming she was willing to try it, however again it didn't work. She burst into tears and said she wanted to go home!!! CRAP! How can I suck at this, I mean I survived the cow like feeling of breastfeeding twins at the same time, potty training toddlers, running a business, and changing my ailing parents depends!!! Why can't I do this???
I felt like a crappy, evil Step Mom, (here take a tampon!)
I tried to make her feel better, I hugged and kissed her and told her everything will be alright. I love her and I didn't want her to want to leave. I was so mad because I couldn't help her. We did go to the pool that day and I sat with her in solidarity! I told her don't worry about it baby we'll figure it out over time:)
Of course I had an opportunity to go online and look up sites on the subject, but finding the right way to explain it's application to your daughter is a task I really need to figure out.
Little girls do not exactly no where there Va jay jay's are so to tell them to put a leg up and insert this object into a place they have never been is scary as all
H_ _ _!!!
God there has got to be a better way!
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to explain this process that's better than the cold and lifeless Internet explanations?