My step Dad (see photo on right) was a tough no nonsense, smoking and drinking part time Chiropractor and full time Head of an Ex ray Dept at a Medical facility in Newark, NJ.
He was 14 years older than my mother and had one daughter from his first marriage; she was 27 years older than me. I believe he tolerated my mothers 3 kids because he loved her and he found her extremely gorgeous (see photo on left)! I was 2 when we met, only dad I ever knew and even though we all called him Jimmy, he was still my dad. I never had the opportunity to meet my biological dad and whenever I asked my mother about him she would freak out!!! She told me he was this crazed, shell shocked soldier of the Korean war.
Dramatically she would say in her heavy NJ/NY accent, "Oh my Gawd if your fawther eva found us he'd kill us awll!"
Ok, so Jimmy was the only Dad I have ever known I loved him and his daughter endlessly (me,step sister & Jim on right), I thought she was my sister my entire life, she looked just like Marylin Macoo of the 5th Dimension (see photo on left). Then one day it all crashed when my mother died and Jimmy who was suffering from a list of ailments like, Dementia, Prostate Cancer, Emphysema, needed full time care. He took 7 pills a day just to survive and I was his designated caretaker. Until Jimmy decided that his real daughter should take care of him, a family feud began (long horrible story) but, at the end of the day my step sister pulled the biological card and kicked my care-taking behind out on the street! She horrifyingly said during our family court battle, "My father never legally adopted those children they are not his, so everything he owns is mine!" In that one moment I realized that after 40 years I was truly just a step child, someone he dealt with because I was my mother's daughter.
I realize today that the word step child, mother, father, son, daughter are just ugly words. It creates an unnecessary separation for any relationship you are trying to have. I know, with a 12 year old
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