Sunday, January 10, 2010

The racist Grandpa Man!

I decided to enter this post in this weeks Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop:
#1.) Time for your tangent…what is your latest complaint?

I love Sundays, it is one of the best days of the week. Hubby and I finally found a church we both enjoy. You would think finding a church in Atlanta would be easy, it's not! We church hopped off and on for the past 5 years since moving to Atlanta, and even joined 2 churches we thought we loved. We called ourselves fondly, Professional Church Joiners and New Member Class Experts!:)
The message today was about finding your uniqueness, and sharing it with others, real good stuff right? Until I got home and was sadly faced with the reality of life.

We just moved into our neighborhood and for the most part the people who speak to us are very friendly. My children have an endearing friend up the street (who I will call for the sake of anonymity, Jenny), she rides the bus with my middle schooler. After the blizzard Friday here in Georgia (it's was a 1/2 inch of snow) Jenny and my 3 kids have been playing together everyday. So, driving in from church today Sydney, my daughter who is already very fond of Jenny, screams out, "Mommy, I see Jenny, I see Jenneeeeeyyyyyy, can I go play?" Of course I say, "Yes!" Excited that she has a friend on the block. All 3 of my kids go outside for another day of snow and play, when a good 3 minutes later they abruptly come back inside. Confused I say, "What are you guys doing back so soon?"

They said, "Jenny can't play with us right now because she didn't want to be rude to her friend Susie (anonymity again), who was visiting her Grandpa across the street and he does not like Black people, so she can't play with us right now." They said it so matter of fact, my mouth I'm sure was hanging open. I was um, shocked, saddened, dismayed, and I'm sure a host of some other emotions I can't think of right now; I just wanted to cry! Until, I looked at them and realized they didn't care, they were simply waiting for Susie to leave so they could play with Jenny.


When Jenny came back over after Susie went home and the kids went out to play, I was still feeling some kind of way, until Hubby looks at me and says, "Honey if it's not an issue for you, it won't be an issue for them."
Love him:)

So, I took my kids lead and have been working on not being angry at Grandpa's racism!!!

I put my mind back on the pastor's message today about Loving my neighbor, I think when I see that racist Grandpa Man again I'm gonna give him a good ole' fashion hug and kiss:)


GunDiva said...

Wise man, that hubby of yours. The kids could have just as easily said that Grandpa didn't like blondes - it didn't matter to them.

Unknown Mami said...

I'm sorry. This really bummed me out. I had to read it to my husband. I will share with you what my mother once told me. She said that she was not affected by racism because it was the other person's problem not hers.

Eva Gallant said...

I'm so sorry that happened; but on the bright side--grandpas prejudice hasn't been passed down to the kids, so that's a good thing.

Anonymous said...

Mil is a very smart man…I totally agree with him. I have worked to make sure that my kids are “colorblind,” if you will—in spite of some of the things that they sometimes hear other adults say. Growing up in the south in the 60s, I saw a lot of things that were not right—even though the town I grew up in was totally white, I saw the news from Birmingham and I practically lived in Memphis in some of the most tumultuous of times. I am very blessed because I have wonderful parents who taught me that people are people, no matter the color of their skin, the country the come from, or their physical limitations—and, bottom line, we are ALL God’s children. But not everyone in my circle of associates felt that way…I went to school with kids whose dads were Klan members and who worshipped the ground that George Wallace walked on—and I bet you can guess what kind of attitudes those kids grew up with! Through all of that, I guess what I am trying to say is that attitudes about such things are learned from somewhere and the strongest role model for kids—whether or not we believe it sometimes—are parents and grandparents. I say overwhelm Grandpa with kindness and Wanda-love. Turn the other cheek.

I sat through a training video once that asked the question, “Are you the horse, or the rider?” Basically, the premise was that you can take control of a situation, or you can let the situation control you. You have the unique ability to decide which you want to do…when we allow a situation to control us, we can become angry, bitter, and resentful. But by taking control of the situation, we decide what the outcome will be…

Love ya!

P.S. There is nothing quite like the honesty of a child, is there?


Jeanette said...

Okay now that I have shaken off the shock of what I just read I can leave a comment.
Good for your girls, good for your husband and good for you!
And please oh please give Mr. Racist Grandpa man a big ole hug and kiss! It sounds like that's just what he needs!
Seriously I don't get it. I just don't.

MOMSWEB said...

The Bible speaks of having faith of a child and I believe the mind of the child goes hand in hand.

Wifey said...

Wow! That's crazy. Good for you. Love your attitude. I know it's the right one to have but there would still be a little part of me that would want to kick him. LOL!

Winks & Smiles,

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

Oh man. Im really happy that your kids did not feel the effects of that situation. I find it completely ignorant to make a comment like that. What good comes of that? Why would Grandpa say that to children so that they in turn repeat it. Whoa. I am getting on my soap box here but that is just innexcusable if you ask me.

Side Note: My son who is a very blunt little boy saw a dwarf in a pet store a year ago (he was 4 at the time) he walked right up to the man and told him that he was Little with a BIG head. I was mortified. I walked over with my son and apologized to the man and told my son that GOD makes people in all shapes, sizes and colors. The man was very nice but deep inside, I know to this day he may still be hurt by that.

Thanks for sharing that story and even though your kids did not notice, I am sorry that things like that still happen today.


Miss Breeze said...

Hi there,

Stopping by from the writers workshop with Mama Kat.

Sounds like you have yourself a good husband. And what a thought, if isn't a big deal for you, it won't be a big deal for them.

I think everyone could benefit from applying that in life.

Christy AKA Trippin' Mama said...

Yikes and wow! But what a classy way to handle things. When you get your hands on grandpa give him a big ole kiss from me, too!


e said...

This makes me sad... But you are the better, wiser and more compassionate person. I am sure your kids will grow up the same way!

Lourie said...

Little children are beautiful people. They love their friends and don't care about what they look like or how they dress. And what a profound thing that hubby of yours said. So very true.

Stopping by from Mama kat's WW

June Freaking Cleaver said...

Wonder how Grandpa Racist would feel if his granddaughter said she wasn't coming to his house any more, because she doesn't like OLD people?

I'm not sure he could handle the kiss and hug...but I'd be sure to always give him a big winning smile every time I saw him!

Red Velvet Confections said...

I'm exhaling as I write this. I'm an Atlanta native and I'm so sorry that this was one of your experiences. Please know that this is still a wonderful place to live and that the great things to come as you establish your new life here should not be clouded by the ignorance of others. Sounds like you have a great family. I wish you the best.

Lara said...

Your response was great :) Sad for the old dude that he's so bitter.


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