Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Shadows of Siblings!

Growing up in the shadow of your sister or brother is difficult. I watched my baby Cameron cry when he did not make All-Stars during our baseball closing ceremonies. My other son Jordeyn makes it every year. Even though their age is only separated by 2 1/2 years they are so different.
Now, for the first time ever Cameron was finally nominated for All-Stars and he was so thrilled!!! Now when the All-Star boys names were being called out onto the field, there was Cameron happily looking at the Coach and praying he would call his name, he didn't, I had to endure my babies eyes fill with tears as he bowed his head so low. I wanted to run over to that coach and punch him in the head, scream at him for not picking my child but, you know I couldn't do that. I wanted to run over and hug my babies tears away but, dad looking as stoic as ever said, "No, he will be alright." (Silently I wanted to punch dad in the head too!) Suddenly, I realized that as my children grow this will be a constantly common thread, just as it was in my own life growing up 30 years ago in the Shadows of my sister!

My sisters name is Audrey and she is the most radiant being I have ever known. I am 5 years younger than her and I've spent my whole life in her shadow. Long hair, olive skin, size 4, pageant Queen, Captain of the Color Guard, most popular, most everything and then there is me.... Dusty, beige, nappy and disheveled, sort of popular, mostly misunderstood (that's us on right I have on stripes and that's her and I on the left growing up in East Orange, NJ). I have wanted to be her forever!
She was the good girl and I was the bad seed. She had dreams, I had to party, she had goals, I had to party some more. When she got married and they bought the house with the picket fence, I was like D___! What am I going to do now, I decided to get an apartment and become a dancer (and not the daytime ballet kind)!
Then all of sudden I grew up, got married and she got divorced. I had kids and tearfully she did not. Our mother died and I became the glue that kept us all together. My husband and I moved 1000 miles away and she has been right by our side. My children fill her life and she fills ours. We've come along way together and I love and miss her terribly!

How about you? Have you grown up in the Shadow of your sibling?


Christian Mommy Writer said...


Thanks for stopping by my blog. I didn't grow up in the shadows of a sibling, but I can see how it would be hard. It's great that you and your sister have such a great relationship now.

Hope your son makes the team next time. Your boys are so cute! Be blessed and I'll be back to visit!

QueenBee said...

I grew up in the shadows of my sisters. I have two older and one younger, no brothers. But people always said that me and my second sister looked so much alike. We used to wear each other's clothes and get our hair styled just alike. Even though she and I are 3 years apart, people often wondered if we were twins. I never saw what they saw. I was the cuter one.

Nancy said...

I think my sister may have grown up in my shadow a bit! I was the good girl and she was the unconventional one! We are so different and have gone through our stuff over the years, but we love each other dearly. She just became a new mom and I am so excited that we both have young daughters who will grow up together.

MOMSWEB said...

My younger sister reminds me that she grew up in my shadow. I hate to hear this because the shadow holder never thinks of herself the way the shadow walker does. Wanda, you definitely did not see your SELF because you are a gorgeous woman. Personally, your profile picture makes me sick to my stomach. Good grief, do you have to be so glamourous (lol). Love ya!

MOMSWEB said...

Oh yea, the part about punching the coach and your husband was HILARIOUS! You are tooo funny!

The Broke Socialite said...

What a beautiful piece!

Ms. Wanda said...

Thank you Broke Socialite and Momsweb! I still don't see gorgeous but, I'm grateful for the compliment:)

Stephen Baird said...

Great photo of sidewalk take down!
Thanks for dropping by NikonSniper.
NikonSniper Steve

Dorkys Ramos said...

I'm the oldest sib to a younger sis and a younger bro. My sis and I are four years apart and we usually act as if we're the exact same age. So sometimes I feel like I have her to look up for some things and vice versa. I'm sure my brother feels the pressure most though. He's acting up in school and unfocused and I'm sure having two older sisters who have completed or is completing grad school is a lot to live up to.

Makeup Theory said...

What a sweet post. My sister and I are 16 years apart! I am the elder. Our relationship was weird because I was so much older. She'd cry by the screen door in her Pampers every time I'd leave for a date or a night out with girlfriends. Now she's in her 20s and suddenly we're friends! She's a grown up and that seems weird, too. But I love her so much. She's my favorite person.

Au Lapin Blanc said...

I grew up in the shadow of my younger sister. Even now, everything I do apparently she does better. It's more annoying than a woodpecker on the head

Wifey said...

Aww, (said with tears in my eyes)! Really sweet ... and I love the pictures.

Winks & Smiles,

Unknown Mami said...

This was a very touching post. I got a little teary-eyed. I'm glad your sister has you and you have your sister and I'm glad your kids have each other.

Moms Fighting Fat said...

OMG, Ms. Wanda, this is a really touchy subject for me because I can hardly think about it without wanting to cry. I grew up in the shadow of my younger sister.

She was the natural athlete and daring one. I was known as an uncoordinated "pansy butt" (one of my dreaded childhood nicknames.

My mother and stepfather never missed a softball or basketball game that she played in--she was always the star player--while I had to beg them to show up at mine. I can only count two times that they showed up to watch me play a softball game.

My sister and I love each other but we're not close at all. I think it has a lot to do with our upbringing.

BTW, thank you so much for sharing my blog--I'm very grateful.

Hugs ~ Sandy

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