No I can't, always be happy and today I don't even no how to try; I'm exhausted trying to be. One minute your alive, you have your parents and your siblings wrapped up in a bond you know will never be broken. All of of sudden your parents die and for some uncontrollable reasons your siblings stop speaking to you and you move over 800 miles away from everything. As you walk around day to day you know your inside your body somewhere, but you don't feel anything at all. You go through the motions of laughter and joy like your a puppet. Some days are good and some days just aren't.
I think it's OK to say "No I can't, not today, I can't be Happy." So no more faking happiness, tomorrow is another day to hopefully try at it again:)