Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Is a Fantasy Love wrong?

I'm not sure if I should divulge this fantastical feeling I have, mostly because it comes and goes.  However, being happily married most of the time for almost 13 years now, I feel that I need to share a small subtle confession.  I have an enormous fantasy, crush, love, longing or just some simple sheer OMG what delicious eye candy problem!:)  Here it is, here is my secret and for 13 years I have never had one, a fantasy or a secret, ever.....hmmm, maybe I'm just getting old...er or possibly in need of some good ole' fashion visual stimuli?
OK, there it is I've showed it and named it, Idris Elba. Ahhh, I needed to get that off my chest:) Now, I know that having a fantasy love is probably not cool but, what can I say!  I really only think about him when I'm angry at hubby and for me it's kinda like leaving him, but not!  When I'm mad at hubby, I usually escape inside of a story I'm writing,  my lead characters of course are Idris and myself when I was single, not married:)  Let me be clear, in my mind I haven't had a fantasy affair with Idris, I'm just in fantasy love! I find myself blocking the thought of an affair, even in my fictional story I will not allow my characters ( lost lovers from another world) the pleasure of a liaison, they only achingly long for each other at a shadows distance.

Seems wrong to want anyone other than your hubby even if it's a fantasy, feels like your cheating in your mind, right?

I turned to my friend Askwifey and asked her what her thoughts were on being married and having an off an on fantasy about another man.  The first thing she said that made me laugh hysterically was, "Oh my gosh who is it someone at the baseball park?"  Still laughing I said, "Um no!"  When I told her it's a movie star she said, "Ooooh, that's OK, nothing wrong with that because he is definitely not tangible:)"

Hmmmm, you never know Wifey we are after all world travelers remember Capri?

Well here is the age old question, is it OK when your married to have a fantasy about another man even if you don't sleep with him in the fantasy?  What if it's not a movie star and it's someone you know and find yourself thinking about this person, what do you do?

Here are some multiple choice questions I thought we could start with:
  • A)  Tell your husband
  • B)  Keep it a secret locked away in a folder buried deep in your computer encrypted
  • C)  Pretend hubby is your fantasy love
  • D)  Let Fantasy go, get hubby fashionably updated ASAP!



Eva Gallant said...

I'm in love with most of the Celtics basketball team and Hubby knows it! He laughs and is delighted that I watch the games with him. I'm 65 and he's 70 and it bothers him not one whit that I drool over Kevin Garnett, Rashad Rondo, Tony Allen, etc.!

Lourie said...

I don't sit there and spill the beans about my "fantasy" love, but it is no secret to my husband who I find yummy. Likewise, I know what and who he likes. So I will go with B. It's a need to know kind of thing. ;)

Wifey said...

Girl, you're human aren't you? Fantasies are normal as long as they don't cross the line or become excessive!

By the way, you pick great eye-candy!

Winks & Smiles,

MOMSWEB said...

Uh.....is it just me or did Wifey avoided the question! LOL

First of all, who is this Elba guy? I'll have to google him to find out what he plays in.

I don't have a fantasy man, but when nice romantic songs come on, I have an imaginary man without a face singing to me. Could it be my hubby?

Anonymous said...

I think I might have chosen the wrong person. I'm in a relationship, I'm young, he wants to marry me. I want to say that fantasy is what happens when you're in the wrong place. I'm a coward, I'll tell u straight. I don't know how to stop this train I'm on. But there is someone out there who I might say I adore. This is not my stuffy version of camp fiction. I know how penetrating fantasy is. I adore this person, and he's not the one I'm with. What a damn pickle. But to those in happy marriages--I admire your candor. I wish I could absorb your courage and leave the place I'm in, but this is harder done than said. Any advice?


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