Monday, March 15, 2010

Gifts from Strangers?

First born wanted to go shopping with his gift cards and monies he collected on his 12th birthday.  He experienced his first amazing shopping spree revelation, when he realized he could purchase a pair of sneakers for $45.00  or 2 pairs of sneakers and 3 cool spring T's  for $48.00!!! The look in his eye's was pure glee when he walked out of Target with all of his purchases and his money saved, tucked away deep inside of his wallet!

I had to stop in Wally World (Wal-mart) for some groceries and while we were standing on line checking out, my son spots some Justin/ Neo type hat, he runs puts it on, comes back and says, "Mom this is the type of hat I want!!! (see photo on left)"  I said, "Ok, do you want to buy that with your money?"  He quickly runs and puts it back on the shelf, he had spent all he was going to spend out of his money today.  So, when he comes back to me he says, "Mom that lady on line behind us wants to buy me the hat, can I Mom can I go get it pleassssseeee???"  It took me a second, my body stiffened and my atennas popped out my head I was on full alert I said, "What lady wants to buy you that hat?"  He points to this nice innocent looking Grandma lady and I instantly thought of the sweet old lady that lured Hansel and Gretal into her Gingerbread house and prepared to eat them (see photo on right)!
I had to smooth out my angry eyebrows and try to muster a smile when I said, "Oh, thank you what a nice jester, but know that's ok."  She said all Grandmaish, "Aw it looks so cute on him honey, I'd love to buy it for him."  So, I'm standing there trying to juggle my groceries onto the belt, Jordeyn's waiting hoping that I will say yes, pleading with his eyes and that Grandma lady is starring at me waiting for my answer giving me her sweetest face!
I lost my smile and blankly said a little sharper with my eyebrow raised and my Ms. Wanda face on (see photo on left), "No......... really that's OK, he will be alright without it, Thank You."  With that the conversation was over.
As, we walked out of Wally World I had to explain to my son why we don't except gifts from strangers.  I'm sure he doesn't truly understand but, he will over time.

What do you all think about this, was I right not to accept it?  Or should I have given in and let her buy that hat?
I love to hear your thoughts:)


MommyLovesStilettos said...

I definitely wouldn't have accepted. And even though it was a sweet elderly lady, it would still totally weird me out that she offered!

Nancy C said...

I think you made the right call. The lady's intentions were good, but the whole point of you saying "no" the first time was to teach your son the value of a dollar.

Well played, Mom! You did good.

Lourie said...

If you knew the person, I would say yeah let her buy the hat. But you didn't know her. At all. Plus, sometimes the answer is no. Two lessons for the price of one. good job.

Unknown Mami said...

I totally respect your decision, but I'm gonna be honest and say that I would have probably accepted. I have been blessed with much generosity from strangers so it would not have been that strange to me. I'd have to be there though and see if I was getting a creepy vibe.

Even as an adult I've been given things by strangers and I'm cool with it. If I'm not cool with it I decline.

MOMSWEB said...

It's a shame people can't be nice these days, but this is the world we live in. I'm not sure what I would have done, but the 'vibe' I felt from her would have made the decision for me.

GunDiva said...

That's such a tough call. It might have made her genuinely happy to buy it for your son; who knows? She may have grandkids of her own that she doesn't get to see often.

On the other hand, he chose not to spend any more of his money and by accepting, you would have undermined the lesson you were trying to teach.

Tough call. I'm sure that the one you made was the right one.

Wifey said...

When in doubt - don't. Not sure what I would've done. Trusted my gut, read the vibe. Sounds like you did the right thing.

Winks & smiles,

Anonymous said...

I think letting the lady buy the hat would set a really bad precedent, no matter what her intention. First of all, as nice as she may have been, she undermined your parental authority. She instantly put your child at odds with you—more so than when you told him “No” initially. You were trying to teach him fiscal responsibility by asking him, “Okay, do you want to buy this with your money?”—which really translates into “Does this hat mean enough to you to part with your precious money on it, or do you just want it on an impulse and it is only necessary to have if you personally suffer no financial loss from the purchase?” It was wrong for the nice lady to weigh in on your personal business with your child and you should be commended for sticking to your guns on this one.


Ms. Wanda said...

Thank you everyone for your perspectives. You know I don't think I got any vibe with Grandma which struck me as strange, hmmmm... The biggest thing in this was to keep my son from excepting anything from anyone. I know that soon he will not always be with me and I want to make smart choices, without hesitation:)


QueenBee said...

Things are just not what they used to be. That lady could have been waiting on you at the corner with a band of robbers waiting to jack you and your child. Remember..wolves in sheep is a shame that we can't trust folks or accept the kindness of strangers. Society did it.

GlowinGirl said...

Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

I would be uncomfortable accepting a gift in such a manner. It was most likely the right call!

Spirit Filled said...

It was a wonderful lesson for your son to learn. You can't always trust a smile and nothing is free.

: )

Adoption of Jane said...

I think you were right. Even if she is harmless i see two valuable lessons there. 1. don't trust strangers regardless of their appearance and 2. Charm doesn't mean you can get whatever you want out of women (which is what I struggle with my sons.. i really don't want them to grow up expecting women to do what they want).

Your son is really cute though. I would've probably used my last change to buy him the hat.. so I am definitely a hypocrite, LOL

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